Stand still

Here I am in the midst of my own bedroom with a soft maroon striped shirt and my brown skinnies half way down my knees, with a straw hat that has summer written all over it, I'm in a complete lost.

I tend to think, thinking to the point that even my answers are unclear. I can't even go to me for an advice anymore. Knowing that I can't go to anyone, I am at a stop. I need answers, I'm searching for them, but then I can't. I don't know how to proceed or keep moving forward. I'm hurt and probably hurting others, I don't know how to stop. My addiction to being stubborn needs a good time out in the rehab. I have nothing but a stain, a problem that is hard to get rid off. I'm at a rut. The lowest of the low.

What I'm feeling towards about you, was as real as it gets. I never thought of it of some fling that happened, it was something more. Knowing the situation I am in, we both know it is causing so much stress for the both of us. And it hurts me to think the pain that I cause you. And probably, you'd think that you are hurting me. To be honest, both of us are hurting. Let's us hopefully fix things slowly and one by one, maybe then we can see where this road would go. And I would never doubt you not being here for me, because I know you will be. You've proved it. And I'm glad you did. Now only time can tell.. a long winding story that I am eager to find out.