Collapsing

When things start to make sense, my whole world collapse. The way a finger moves will affect the outcome of a drawing, but my drawing has been done and colored. Yet, I am still confused with the things that was said to me. A reoccurring problem that tickles the pickle. I've been showered with compliments, spoon fed with lies, and I'm still alone. Looking back from pass experiences, I was the one that used to do these things. Maybe things have changed, the world is getting me back from all the things I've done. But really, lately I've "talked" to girls that said almost the same things to me. Then a few days later things just stop. It bothers me a little, but I rather not waste my time or anyones time if things just get dropped like a hot potato. I'm slowly getting the hints and the ignorance, but how come I feel so affected by it. Maybe its that small satisfaction that I've longed for. When someone makes me feel wanted again, feeling all these good vibes, I just want to feel important again in someone's life. But I'm here again learning, learning that this world is fucking cruel. You can't settle things right away and paint a certain picture, you have to get the whole point of view correct in order to start painting.