All those fucking feelings.

Remember that feeling when the person you've liked from afar starts dating someone and you just can't get mad because there was nothing there? Because you've always been at the sideline in the friend zone comforting her when jackass plays with her heart. That same feeling that makes you smile when she's happy. Never had the courage to confess feelings because it will ruin a friendship. Sheltered and scared, so you just keep everything in and do as much as you can to see her smile. Remember those times when she'd call you on the phone because she's going through a heartbreak? When all you can do is comfort her and tell her you're there. And you look into her eyes and you know you can treat her so much better than they can.

When you wonder if you'll ever get a chance. Remember. Remember all those fucking feelings when you just ask yourself endless questions on why you can't have her, or why you can't be the one for her, or why the fuck you're too scared to take a step and tell her everything that you've been feeling. Remember all those fucking feelings when she just introduces you as her friend, you don't know where you actually stand. She runs to you when she has a problem, but she's gone when another guy pops up. She shares conversations with you until there's a new guy in the picture. But when you're gone her world disappears. She has a bond with you that she can't explain. You are just a friend. Forever be a friend.

Slowly you are hurting, slowly you remember all the feelings. The hurt consumes you, but you just put on a fake smile to hide the pain. You are nothing but a friend anyways.