Maybe it's time to let everything hang out and for you to actually know what really went on. It does hurt when you say I didn't care, because all I did was give you all I can. I never neglected to give you my best regardless of what was going on. Yes, I did say I hated you. It's because all we ever did was fight, I was filled with anger because I would hope that somehow I would find the comfort you've once given me. I never did actually hate you, it was pure stupidity that I've said that. I was in pain and I was seeking for comfort, but all I ever did was give you pain.
What questioned me was why was there fighting in the beginning stages of our relationship? Maybe it was me, the fact that I was very selfish? I don't know, but somehow I know I'm the cause of all of it. To be honest, our fights seems so little and we just bickered about the smallest thing. I guess that's what you get with two strong personalities. It isn't about the blame game really, I mean I wasn't happy with what obstacle I'm dealing with and how I'm transforming as your own obstacle. I've always thought about us, it was never a me until the very last. I wanted to be better.
I took you off everything because, I'm a selfish person. If I saw you having the time of your life and here I am laying on my own bed on a friday afternoon, I'd probably bicker about it and fuss that you aren't thinking about me. I just cut off all the communication. I wasn't ready to see that you've actually moved on already with some new guy trying to spit game on you. I'm not much of a person that would like to see that. It isn't even the trust, but it's a guy thing. Even though I already know, I'm the guy that you only like. I never really saw this distance as a problem, only towards the end. When I needed you the most. Also when you said that I'm better off with someone who can give me comfort, that's really stupid. I chose you for a reason you know, not some dumb bitch that would just leave after a couple of weeks. You provided me with comfort and care. I needed you.
With everything said, I am really doing fine. Like I've said I'm away from the danger zone. I can't just forget everything we've done. All the memories and photographs can't be burned, they are once in my head but they've found comfort in my heart. If the last few weeks or days you were with me and I was mean to you, I apologize. I apologize with all I have. I just wanted to be by myself and get through this. You can abandon every thought and memory about me, and I don't blame you for doing so. But, I just wanted you to know, that I was really falling for you to the point of me saying it, time was just the enemy. Everything I've said was true. You've said your goodbye and I won't hold you back anymore. And to thought I was going to be able to talk to you again, I was wrong. You had the last laugh, here I am wanting to be friends again, but I've lost my chances. Thanks for everything, and I hope eventually you'd somehow or someday be able to talk to me.
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